I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
