He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
