Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
