you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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