Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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