you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
