No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
