Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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