we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I have post one night stand depression
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