For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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