is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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