I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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