Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
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