Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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