VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
