it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Are we still banned from the library?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
