the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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