everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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