question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
