i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
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We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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