Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Even my vagina gasped.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
