can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
