how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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