My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
