What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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