Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
