Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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