I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
