we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
