you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
