R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
