new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
