Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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