Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So much rum. So many feels.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
