I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
