Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
