just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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