I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize