he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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