I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize