nut hugger
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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