He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
