if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
