She's JV to your varsity
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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