ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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