would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
