i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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