omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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