I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
