Screwed.edu
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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