shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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