Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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