Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
