it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
