So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
