Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
