OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
