Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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