Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
